The First Time

The first time my body experiences something it has never felt before, I feel wonder about being. Last night was one of those firsts. My body opened with a profound trust I had never experienced before. My hips, my lips, my vulva, the walls of my womb, my heart… and as I expanded open the universe held me, welcomed me to this bigger me. Awe, complete awe, and then, I wondered how many people get to feel this loved, this open, this full. I knew from the look in their eyes, and the joy in their laugh, and the way they dreamed about what was to come… now I could understand that some of them had felt this too. I knew that as my body opened, my life was opening. I lay there wondering if I could truly receive all the love that my partner embodied and offered me. I started to drink it in slowly and with more ease than I expected in deep long inhales that could only be accompanied by cooing exhales and gentle nods of silent yes.

I remember the first time I pirouetted. I remember learning a new move in the hip hop dance class I attended last night. I remember my first bee sting. Part of it is the sensation that draws me so undeniably into my body, and part of it is tasting a little more of the collective human body experience. Somehow I feel like I belong here that much more. I trust everything more, because this is one of those things that I did not know to wish for and yet as it happens oh universe, how did you know this is exactly what I desired?