End of the Year Relationship Reflection
The past 4 years I’ve been training at the academy for coaching excellence and give yourself to love. I’ve noticed such a different quality and meaning in my relationships as a result of this training. It inspired me to create an end of the year Relationship Reflection to share with you.
Relationships thrive when there are 2 things present:
We share what’s most important to us.
We give and receive support to bring out the best in each other.
Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in the past was that I believed love was about finding the right person. In reality, love is about becoming the right person. Don’t look for the person you want to spend your life with. Become the person you want to spend your life with. ― Neil Strauss
Each person we choose to build a relationship with is an opportunity to demonstrate being a loving person. Below are some prompts and questions to support you in savoring and contributing to the people you love. This gives you a chance to observe how YOU show up in your relationships, rather than focusing on what someone else could do differently.
Make a list of your closest relationships this past year. They can be a partner, a parent, a relative, a friend, a collaborator… anyone who you delight in loving. Take a moment to look at the list and appreciate all the people you love. Then, choose 1 relationship to focus on for the following prompts. You are encouraged to repeat this many times, for each of your core relationships.
What are some of your peak moments this year, when you made this person’s life sweeter?
What are some peak moments this year, when you received support from this person? Have you shared with them how much they have contributed to your life?
What do you admire about this person? How would you like to acknowledge them for the way they inspire you?
Take a moment to appreciate this relationship as you pause and notice what you experience answering the questions so far. Now consider is there anything incomplete in your relationship? Is there some unfinished business for you to clear up? For example, something for you to say that you haven’t said yet? Something you said you would do, that you did not do yet? Something to apologize for or to forgive? If you notice yourself thinking about what someone else should do differently, gently bring your focus back to what there might be for YOU to clear up.
If so, what is it? Are you willing to complete it? In some cases asking for support from a therapist or friend can be really helpful so you can bring your best to clearing up what there is to clear up.
One of the core ways we build intimacy is by sharing what’s most important to us. (Here’s a tool you can use and share with loved ones to clarify what’s most important to each of you, click here for the Soul Garden.) What do you know about the visions and dreams at this moment in their life? How can you demonstrate that you see what’s important to them? (for example, an acknowledgement, a gift, a card...)
Have you shared your visions and dreams with them? If there was more to share so they could stand at your side as you focus on your dreams, what would it be?
Have you empowered this person to have a successful experience supporting you? Have you shared where you may limit yourself and given them permission to engage you in these moments? Have you clarified the specific ways they can support you to bring out your best as you act on your dreams?
Are you willing to receive their support in such moments?
What are 1 or 2 moments in this year, when you had a challenge in your relationship? What lessons are you willing to learn from these moments?
Sometimes our worries about time, money or health can impact how we are being in relationship. Is there a breakthrough you are interested and willing to have around time, money or health so you can free up some energy to bring your best to your relationship?
If the answer is yes, what’s the breakthrough and who are you willing to ask for support with this? (Perhaps a healer, coach, friend, etc)
What is your intention with this person for the new year? (To be a loving partner, playmate, friend, family member, or collaborator, etc)
Given this intention what’s your vision for your relationship? Imagine it’s a year from now and you’re reflecting on your relationship. What are some of the peak moments you might love to look back on at the end of next year? Have a conversation to create a shared vision for your next year together.
Given what you’re seeing about this relationship what is a small sweet next step for you to take to demonstrate how important this relationship is to you?